By Margaret Feinberg Ones
Retro Versus Metro
Just as every generation is different, every generation also has things in common. Today’s baby boomers and today’s twentysomethings are no exception. Understanding the differences between these demographics is important when it comes to both mentoring and ministering to twentysomethings.
“My culture was filled for the most part with stable families, Judeo-Christian values and a relevance of faith to living,” said Carol Harris, a boomer parent of two twentysomething daughters living in Houston, Texas. “Twenty-year-olds have none of that now. The traditional family is broken, values are based on each individual’s own thinking and faith is not seen as relevant to life. We boomers should simply remember what it was like to be 20 and confused...and then at least quadruple the complexity of what we remember feeling and thinking to even begin to understand what it's like to be 20 now.”
This article is designed to highlight some of the differences between boomers and twentysomethings. It explores how these generations process information, respond and react. As you reflect on the differences, remember that the characteristics found in boomers can be found in twentysomethings just as the characteristics found in twentysomethings can be found in boomers. Being a twentysomething or boomer is more of a mindset and approach to life, and at times, it crosses all ages.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
Thursday, October 30, 2008
A Boomer’s Guide to Understanding Twentysomethings Part II
Institution Versus Relationship
Boomers tend to value commitment and involvement in an institution. They like knowing that the organization they’re a part of is trustworthy. If the institution is well-established and a has a history within the local community that’s even better.
Twentysomethings, on the other hand, are less interested in the institution and more concerned with the people who comprise the institution. Twentysomethings are driven by their relationships. A boomer goes to church to learn a new spiritual lesson, sing familiar songs and fulfill their commitment to the local church. A twentysomethings goes to church to see their friends and hopefully learn, grow and serve along side them. So a boomer will walk into a service and ask, “What’s going on here?” whereas a twentysomething will ask “Who’s here?”
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
Boomers tend to value commitment and involvement in an institution. They like knowing that the organization they’re a part of is trustworthy. If the institution is well-established and a has a history within the local community that’s even better.
Twentysomethings, on the other hand, are less interested in the institution and more concerned with the people who comprise the institution. Twentysomethings are driven by their relationships. A boomer goes to church to learn a new spiritual lesson, sing familiar songs and fulfill their commitment to the local church. A twentysomethings goes to church to see their friends and hopefully learn, grow and serve along side them. So a boomer will walk into a service and ask, “What’s going on here?” whereas a twentysomething will ask “Who’s here?”
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
A Boomer’s Guide to Understanding Twentysomethings Part III
Settled Versus On the Move
Boomers tend to be more well-established, largely due to their age and stage in life. They are more likely to own a home and have several children. Boomers are more likely to have a resume that will actually impress someone and actually have a plan for retirement.
Twentysomethings are little more free-spirited, but not necessarily by choice. Since twentysomethings are getting married between four and five years later in life on average than their predecessors, many twentysomethings are still single. The majority of twentysomethings are saddled with so many student loans and so much credit card debt that they haven’t been able to buy a home. And children will only come after they find Mr. or Mrs. Right… which still may be a few years off.
Most twentysomethings are surprised that their lives don’t mirror their boomer parents. They expected to meet “the one” in college, get married and begin having children by the age of 25. They look at boomers with a quiet sense of envy in some regards. The delay is causing a lot of twentysomethings to ask God tough questions about their singleness and at the same time make the most of it by traveling, changing lives and living a more adventurous lifestyle.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
Boomers tend to be more well-established, largely due to their age and stage in life. They are more likely to own a home and have several children. Boomers are more likely to have a resume that will actually impress someone and actually have a plan for retirement.
Twentysomethings are little more free-spirited, but not necessarily by choice. Since twentysomethings are getting married between four and five years later in life on average than their predecessors, many twentysomethings are still single. The majority of twentysomethings are saddled with so many student loans and so much credit card debt that they haven’t been able to buy a home. And children will only come after they find Mr. or Mrs. Right… which still may be a few years off.
Most twentysomethings are surprised that their lives don’t mirror their boomer parents. They expected to meet “the one” in college, get married and begin having children by the age of 25. They look at boomers with a quiet sense of envy in some regards. The delay is causing a lot of twentysomethings to ask God tough questions about their singleness and at the same time make the most of it by traveling, changing lives and living a more adventurous lifestyle.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
A Boomer’s Guide to Understanding Twentysomethings Part IV
Information Versus Conversation
Boomers want information.
Twentysomethings want conversation.
Boomers are satisfied with a lengthy presentation on a topic, whereas twentysomethings are looking for an interactive examination of an issue. While boomers appreciate the time given to a particular topic, twentysomethings want depth. Twentysomethings don’t want to “get it” as much as they want to discuss it and wrestle with it.
“What it means to be "seeker sensitive" is totally different,” said Mark Batterson lead pastor at National Community Church (www.theaterchurch.com) in Washington, D.C. “I think twentysomethings are more spiritually attuned. I think many churches watered down or dumbed-down the message for boomers, but twentysomethings are looking for something supernatural, something they can't explain. I think our generation is more in touch with mystery and paradox. So ironically, the more seeker-sensitive you want to be the more spiritual you need to be. I think twentysomethings are looking for a high-octane experience.”
While a self-help title or article featuring six easy steps is appealing to a boomer, a twentysomething would look at the same piece and find it suspect. Certainly, things can’t be that simple. Thus, while boomers enjoy finding a short-cut to the answer, twentysomethings want to take the scenic tour at discovering the same truth.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
Boomers want information.
Twentysomethings want conversation.
Boomers are satisfied with a lengthy presentation on a topic, whereas twentysomethings are looking for an interactive examination of an issue. While boomers appreciate the time given to a particular topic, twentysomethings want depth. Twentysomethings don’t want to “get it” as much as they want to discuss it and wrestle with it.
“What it means to be "seeker sensitive" is totally different,” said Mark Batterson lead pastor at National Community Church (www.theaterchurch.com) in Washington, D.C. “I think twentysomethings are more spiritually attuned. I think many churches watered down or dumbed-down the message for boomers, but twentysomethings are looking for something supernatural, something they can't explain. I think our generation is more in touch with mystery and paradox. So ironically, the more seeker-sensitive you want to be the more spiritual you need to be. I think twentysomethings are looking for a high-octane experience.”
While a self-help title or article featuring six easy steps is appealing to a boomer, a twentysomething would look at the same piece and find it suspect. Certainly, things can’t be that simple. Thus, while boomers enjoy finding a short-cut to the answer, twentysomethings want to take the scenic tour at discovering the same truth.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
A Boomer’s Guide to Understanding Twentysomethings Part V
Print Versus Image
Twentysomethings process information differently. While boomers are more print oriented, twentysomethings are more image-driven. A boomer will read a book written with linear knowledge to explore and understand a concept. Boomers will respond to the plain black and white text. Twentysomethings, on the other hand, respond and react to film, music and the arts. They grab onto word-pictures—whether spoken or written—and are compelled by images.
The new iWorship DVD tracks from Integrity Music are a good example. They’re used in our church whenever the worship team isn’t able to practice. They provide a soundtrack of popular worship songs. Instead of just having the words projected onto an overhead, there are moving images of nature, people and scenes that play as the words are displayed. A number of boomers within the church have complained that the images are just too much—they distract them from worshipping God. But only one twentysomething has commented that the images are distracting. Most of the young adults appreciate the extra layer of images used in worship.
Church leaders who effectively use graphics and videos in their sermons can help capture the imagination of this generation.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
Twentysomethings process information differently. While boomers are more print oriented, twentysomethings are more image-driven. A boomer will read a book written with linear knowledge to explore and understand a concept. Boomers will respond to the plain black and white text. Twentysomethings, on the other hand, respond and react to film, music and the arts. They grab onto word-pictures—whether spoken or written—and are compelled by images.
The new iWorship DVD tracks from Integrity Music are a good example. They’re used in our church whenever the worship team isn’t able to practice. They provide a soundtrack of popular worship songs. Instead of just having the words projected onto an overhead, there are moving images of nature, people and scenes that play as the words are displayed. A number of boomers within the church have complained that the images are just too much—they distract them from worshipping God. But only one twentysomething has commented that the images are distracting. Most of the young adults appreciate the extra layer of images used in worship.
Church leaders who effectively use graphics and videos in their sermons can help capture the imagination of this generation.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
A Boomer’s Guide to Understanding Twentysomethings Part VI
Absolute Truth Versus Postmodern
Twentysomethings have grown up in a postmodern world—a land of gray—often lacking a foundation or belief in absolute truth whereas most boomers still believe that absolute truth exists. Thus twentysomethings are more likely to question and wrestle with issues than boomers. They want to know how something works and all its implications. For example, a boomer may say that something is absolutely wrong. A twentysomethings will look at the response and begin thinking of situations—even if they’re far-fetched—that will challenge that proposition and look for an exception.
“Not only are boomers in a different stage of life, but they are often in a different stage of their faith,” said Chad Wible, assistant to the lead pastor at Pathways Church. “Boomers also typically come from a different philosophical mindset since they were brought up in a modernist world and twentysomethings were brought up in a postmodern world. Therefore, boomers need to realize that twentysomethings are often seeking out their faith, capturing the faith as their own, or working through much of their skepticism.”
Twentysomethings often desire a transcendent element in their lives, the spiritual realm is a reality to them. “This means that the church cannot be solely focused on doctrinal or exegetical studies,” Wible said. “Of course, I am not saying that we do away with doctrine and exegesis, but it needs to be incorporated in a way that also brings the person into presence of a mystical God.”
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
Twentysomethings have grown up in a postmodern world—a land of gray—often lacking a foundation or belief in absolute truth whereas most boomers still believe that absolute truth exists. Thus twentysomethings are more likely to question and wrestle with issues than boomers. They want to know how something works and all its implications. For example, a boomer may say that something is absolutely wrong. A twentysomethings will look at the response and begin thinking of situations—even if they’re far-fetched—that will challenge that proposition and look for an exception.
“Not only are boomers in a different stage of life, but they are often in a different stage of their faith,” said Chad Wible, assistant to the lead pastor at Pathways Church. “Boomers also typically come from a different philosophical mindset since they were brought up in a modernist world and twentysomethings were brought up in a postmodern world. Therefore, boomers need to realize that twentysomethings are often seeking out their faith, capturing the faith as their own, or working through much of their skepticism.”
Twentysomethings often desire a transcendent element in their lives, the spiritual realm is a reality to them. “This means that the church cannot be solely focused on doctrinal or exegetical studies,” Wible said. “Of course, I am not saying that we do away with doctrine and exegesis, but it needs to be incorporated in a way that also brings the person into presence of a mystical God.”
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
A Boomer’s Guide to Understanding Twentysomethings Part VII
Denominations Versus The Emerging Church
Boomers are comfortable with the institutional church. They can easily identify themselves with denominations and their systems of belief. Twentysomethings are more uncomfortable with the traditional institutional church. They’re more likely to venture out of the denomination they were raised in and look for a body of believers where they can have their needs met as well as be a valued member.
A number of twentysomethings attend services on a weekly basis and quietly wonder, “Isn’t there more?” As a result, some have opted to change denominations or join a non-denominational church. Others have chosen to join home church movements. And some, unfortunately, have dropped out of church altogether.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
Boomers are comfortable with the institutional church. They can easily identify themselves with denominations and their systems of belief. Twentysomethings are more uncomfortable with the traditional institutional church. They’re more likely to venture out of the denomination they were raised in and look for a body of believers where they can have their needs met as well as be a valued member.
A number of twentysomethings attend services on a weekly basis and quietly wonder, “Isn’t there more?” As a result, some have opted to change denominations or join a non-denominational church. Others have chosen to join home church movements. And some, unfortunately, have dropped out of church altogether.
THE BOOMER BLOGGER
A Boomer’s Guide to Understanding Twentysomethings Part VIII
Final Word
No matter how different boomers and twentysomethings may seem, young adults desperately need older adults to be involved in their lives. Boomers can be incredible mentors for twentysomethings despite any apparent differences. Mentoring can help break down and perceived differences between the generations as people understand each other on a one-on-one basis.
--Margaret Feinberg Onies (www.margaretfeinberg.com) is an author and speaker based in Sitka, Alaska. She’s author of Twentysomething: Surviving & Thriving in the Real World and How To Be A Grown-Up: 247 Lab-Tested Strategies to Conquer Your World. In addition, she’s written God Whispers: Learning To Hear His Voice, Simple Acts of Faith, Simple Acts of Friendship, Simple Prayers of Hope, Just Married: Surprises From the First Few Years of Marriage and way too many magazine articles. You can reach her at margaret@margaretfeinberg.com.
The Boomer Blogger
No matter how different boomers and twentysomethings may seem, young adults desperately need older adults to be involved in their lives. Boomers can be incredible mentors for twentysomethings despite any apparent differences. Mentoring can help break down and perceived differences between the generations as people understand each other on a one-on-one basis.
--Margaret Feinberg Onies (www.margaretfeinberg.com) is an author and speaker based in Sitka, Alaska. She’s author of Twentysomething: Surviving & Thriving in the Real World and How To Be A Grown-Up: 247 Lab-Tested Strategies to Conquer Your World. In addition, she’s written God Whispers: Learning To Hear His Voice, Simple Acts of Faith, Simple Acts of Friendship, Simple Prayers of Hope, Just Married: Surprises From the First Few Years of Marriage and way too many magazine articles. You can reach her at margaret@margaretfeinberg.com.
The Boomer Blogger
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
We Need Models and Mentors
Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. Philippians 3:17 (NIV)
For us to mature, we need models and mentors.
Many people make the mistake of thinking all they need to grow spiritually is God’s Word and prayer. But the truth is, we need people to help us grow.
Christlike character is built through relationships, not in isolation. There are many things God wants you to learn about life that you’ll never learn on your own. You’ll only learn them in community.
We always grow faster and stronger with living, breathing examples who can model for us what a purpose driven life looks like. We need more than explanations, we need examples.
Paul realized the power of a pattern when he advised, “Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you” (Philippians 3:17 NIV). To grow, we need to see principles in practice. We need to see what beliefs looks like when they are translated as behavior in everyday situations.
When Paul would travel to a city to start a church, he would begin by simply living among the people. He was a “living Bible,” echoing the life of Jesus, where “the word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14 NKJV).
After Paul left a city, he would write back, “Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9 NLT).
Who are your models for following Christ? Who are you watching and learning from?
Here’s a tougher question: Are you an example for anyone else? In elementary school, you probably enjoyed “Show and Tell.” As believers, we’re often better at “telling” than “showing.”
In today’s culture, the world desperately needs people who can show us how to love our spouse and make a marriage last, how to relate to our kids, how to do business with integrity, how to handle conflict in the way Jesus would. These are lessons we learn by watching others.
Not only do we need models to grow, we need mentors. Mentors are people who’ve followed Christ longer than we have and are able to share their life lessons. You’ve heard that it’s wise to learn from experience, but it is wiser to learn from the experiences of others. Life is too short to learn everything by experience! And some painful experiences can be avoided if you’re smart enough to learn from mentors in your church family.
Ask yourself this: “What’s been the greatest positive influence on my life?” Most likely it was not a sermon, seminar, or small group lesson. It was somebody who shaped your life through a personal relationship.
Can you see God’s wisdom in creating the church, a family full of mentors and models for our benefit?
That’s why being connected to a small group is so crucial to spiritual growth. It’s a regular opportunity to learn from each other.
Today, spend a few moments getting intentional about this. Write down the names of people in your church and small group that you’d like to learn from. Then identify what you’d specifically like to learn from them. Remember, they don’t have to be perfect to be a model or mentor.
To grow spiritually, you must also be willing to be a model or mentor to others. That may scare you but all it takes is being one step ahead.
People don’t expect you to be perfect – they already know you aren’t. What they want you to be is honest! So let them see your struggles, not just your successes. We usually grow as much from others’ weaknesses as we do from their strengths.
© 2008 Purpose Driven Life.
Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church, which was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for ministers.
The Boomer Blogger
For us to mature, we need models and mentors.
Many people make the mistake of thinking all they need to grow spiritually is God’s Word and prayer. But the truth is, we need people to help us grow.
Christlike character is built through relationships, not in isolation. There are many things God wants you to learn about life that you’ll never learn on your own. You’ll only learn them in community.
We always grow faster and stronger with living, breathing examples who can model for us what a purpose driven life looks like. We need more than explanations, we need examples.
Paul realized the power of a pattern when he advised, “Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you” (Philippians 3:17 NIV). To grow, we need to see principles in practice. We need to see what beliefs looks like when they are translated as behavior in everyday situations.
When Paul would travel to a city to start a church, he would begin by simply living among the people. He was a “living Bible,” echoing the life of Jesus, where “the word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14 NKJV).
After Paul left a city, he would write back, “Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9 NLT).
Who are your models for following Christ? Who are you watching and learning from?
Here’s a tougher question: Are you an example for anyone else? In elementary school, you probably enjoyed “Show and Tell.” As believers, we’re often better at “telling” than “showing.”
In today’s culture, the world desperately needs people who can show us how to love our spouse and make a marriage last, how to relate to our kids, how to do business with integrity, how to handle conflict in the way Jesus would. These are lessons we learn by watching others.
Not only do we need models to grow, we need mentors. Mentors are people who’ve followed Christ longer than we have and are able to share their life lessons. You’ve heard that it’s wise to learn from experience, but it is wiser to learn from the experiences of others. Life is too short to learn everything by experience! And some painful experiences can be avoided if you’re smart enough to learn from mentors in your church family.
Ask yourself this: “What’s been the greatest positive influence on my life?” Most likely it was not a sermon, seminar, or small group lesson. It was somebody who shaped your life through a personal relationship.
Can you see God’s wisdom in creating the church, a family full of mentors and models for our benefit?
That’s why being connected to a small group is so crucial to spiritual growth. It’s a regular opportunity to learn from each other.
Today, spend a few moments getting intentional about this. Write down the names of people in your church and small group that you’d like to learn from. Then identify what you’d specifically like to learn from them. Remember, they don’t have to be perfect to be a model or mentor.
To grow spiritually, you must also be willing to be a model or mentor to others. That may scare you but all it takes is being one step ahead.
People don’t expect you to be perfect – they already know you aren’t. What they want you to be is honest! So let them see your struggles, not just your successes. We usually grow as much from others’ weaknesses as we do from their strengths.
© 2008 Purpose Driven Life.
Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church, which was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for ministers.
The Boomer Blogger
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